A good and a bad news

IM BEING POSTED TO MEDIA & COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY AT TP!
no interest.no interest.no interest.{>~<}

Also I have received a letter with regard to diploma in Chinese studies from MOE today.Im being shortlisted for an interview on MONDAY!! Woohoo. This is a great news but sounds a lil scary. Well, just hope that everything go on smoothly.Im wondering what they would ask me during the interview. I shall do some research on chinese teaching soon.

Actually, I have been asking myself if teacher is the career that I m pursuing in my life.Frankly, I do not know what I want to be in future but I do know that what exactly I want to study as in which are the courses that attract me.I do not wish to spend a year or even three years on things which I have no interest in and so let's see how it goes after the interview.* cross my finger.

Lesson learnt

经过这么多事
眼泪就像洪水一般的流了下来
我整个人好像麻木了
但我一定会学习坚强
你们让我知道我不是一个人。

有人问我会不会讨厌
说真的 我不会 因为讨厌一个人很辛苦
虽然我有很多不支持的 但我也有很多支持我的人啊
不要以为物质上的需求填满心灵上的空虚。
最重要的还是自己要坚持；人是自私的动物。
我也会去试着找回我的快乐… ^_^

my opinions are never taken into consideration

I thought after talking with my form teacher with regard to me repeating had failed, it has come to the end but I am wrong. Due to my determination & perseverance of getting a better o's cert, none of my family agrees. I've been standing alone and this is tough. It's rather stressful and tiring too. Perhaps I should give up on repeating and follow my family's arrangement but... I really dont want to spend my time on things which I have got no interest in. I want to get a better o's cert and pursue what I want. I will never know the outcome if I dont try to take o levels again.Frankly, I wont regret if the outcome turns out to be worse or remain the same, at least I have tried but situation doesnt allow it.My life is miserable now just becos they are so concern of what other people think, they have change my direction. Sigh. I still dont understand what's wrong with repeating?!

其实我懂；
老师跟我说过
有时要想 说过的话会不会伤到那个人 家人和朋友的影响是很大的
但是你们这么多的箭这样射过来 我也伤到了 我也很累
泪就这么的掉下来 从来没有过的
当我遇到挫折时 心就会很脆弱
还好有你 真的^_^

Sorry

突然的关心 让我觉得反感

trust

人的忍耐是有限度的
有时无心的笑话 可能是别人的死穴
而这就是我的死穴
就知道 信任已不在了

18TH BIRTHDAY

THANK YOU FOR CELEBRATING MY BDAY!!
LOVE YOU GUYS ^3^

是角度的问题

I dont look down or underestimate anybody. In fact, I do admire my sister for being force to do things that she has no interest in and try her very best to get into it. However, please dont put me with her as we are really different. Im just pursuing what I want; I know I am selfish.Also,I do know that different people have different opinions and so I dont blame anyone for anything.

Appreciated.

老师 真的辛苦了

Being a teacher isnt easy.As we know, a teacher must set up a role model for students and takes up responsibility for everything.Tons of work are to be marked everyday, extra lessons are being conducted for those weaker students,involved in school events and also meeting. Im really appreciated of what my teachers had done for me seriously.Im respect to them too and so, I hesitated when you offered NIE scheme to me.Although I have an interest in Chinese, I dint think of being a teacher.If I have got the passion in teaching, I dont mind all these but the prob now is IM NOT SURE.Im still not sure if teacher is the path that i m heading to, hence I will not applied it.
However, after talking to Miss T ytd, she encouraged me to try to apply for NIE as she thinks that I have the potential and capability to go into teachers' world.I've indeed applied eventually but still, I feel that it's an impossible mission.
Anyway,if Im not being chosen by NIE, I will go into poly to grant their wish.Nevertheless, I will still retake certain subjs as private candidates to get a better O's cert. No doubt, repeat another year in school is still what I want. I think I'd regret for not repeating my O's in the future.

I still feel that

RETAIN IS THE BEST AND ONLY CHOICE!

but situation doesnt allow.

我更不懂　为什么我的人生是由你们来决定？

不想放弃

结果是出乎预料的-失败了
很感谢老师的时间 帮我说话
还有大家的支持 我很感激（这将是我前进的动力）
麻烦大家了~
就因为我的坚持 让很多人受伤害也牵涉到很多人
所以说 我很自私、很自私…
在与老师谈之后 我告诉自己 这一切就该停止了 我也累了
我没有怪任何人
我只是在想 如果当初我是很懂得调整心态、能够很集中的话 或许现在就不一样了
我还是觉得 机会只有一次也是自己争取的
人生也是自己的 最终的路还是一个人走
我能理解 大家为何不认同
就是拉不下脸 就是不想赌这一年的时间 毕竟是未知数
但我依然觉得 如果我不博 这将是永远的未知数
我想要坚持 我不想放弃 我想要重考 我想要留班
留级 不是要往后走 而是想掌握自己的方向
我不懂。

最可笑的是 就为了面子 改变了我的方向。

面子 真的这么重要吗？

PS 你们的简讯让我的泪掉了 还好有你们…

真的很感动、感激不尽~ 我不会忘记的。谢谢。

我沉默 不是因为我默认
而是因为我已不知道要说什么了

I ONLY LIVE ONCE
IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

一旦做了决定 我就不会后悔

突然有了目标后
前面的阻碍 迎面而来
我的决定的却牵涉到很多人了 也伤了很多人
但我依然觉得人生是自己的 未来的路最终还是一个人走
所以我会坚持 到最后都不会放弃
被避做我不喜欢的事
姐姐已是这样了 我不要做她的后程；或让历史重演
面对亲人 没有人认同的做法 没有人支持的环境下 我也很难受的
然而我坚持自己的决定
可以说是自私、自大
但我相信 不是别人说你是怎样的人 你就是怎样的人

人生短短几十年 也不差这一年
面子有这么重要吗？
不管结论如何 就像老师说了－不会怪任何人

对于我的态度 我知道我错了
但我也只是要说清自己的立场
被怀疑甚至责怪他人 我不能不出声
但为什么你们没有想过 在每每争吵的环境下 为何我会有这种态度？！

O lvl

oh well, I did badly for my o's. My result is not to my expectation.However, I feel relief on the other hand as I managed to pass my English.Sigh, hard work always not pay.It's predestined after all so for now,what im thinking is to get into any course and work hard for the cert. That's it.

空

前面的路 依然是模糊的
对未来 还又很多的问号
真的不知该如何是好

又迷路了
而泪就这样奇迹的 流了下来

Memorable days.

I miss waking up as early as 5.30am to prepare for school.
I miss walking to school or back home everyday.
I miss school days as I see people who are in their uniforms on the streets.
I miss everyone.

it's time

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO FIND MY DREAM AND THINK WHAT I WANT FOR MY LIFE!
I feel so uncertainty nowadays again. Im afraid of this feeling seriously.. I had felt the same once during the O's periods- unsecured and blank mind.I hate myself for feeling this way.~!@#$%^&
Therefore, my final decision is to work till end this month.No doubt, I am scared that I might make the wrong decision but I think that's what I want currently.
Ohyes, I might be getting my result next Tuesday!! I am so worried and nervous. =S

是时候想想以后我要做什么
是时候去寻找自己
是时候去找我的兴趣

不勇敢

为什么我总是这么在乎他人的话？讨厌。
坚持到底即使做的不开心
还是做完这个月就辞职；有点不服责任

我在想 我是害怕做错决定
不想得过且过
然而继续又不开心⋯
怎么办？

我学会了
对于在每每争吵的环境里
在某某的环境下
坚持自己的决定
坚决自己想要的
视而不见 不该听的就不听
－不能改变环境但能改变心境

PS 我很想念大家！！

进退两难

想放弃了。
这份工作 没有让我有前进的动力
或许是因为不喜欢
所以不想⋯
之前的顾忌
是因为你 所以我决定继续
是因为依然有着不健康的心态 所以决定继续
如果当初我坚决自己的决定
现在可能就不同了。

First day of 2010

01.01.10

Wee.I had steamboat on this day with my clique FINALLY.I WAS ECSTATIC!^_^ I had specially requested to work on morning shift as my clique had planned for steamboat at my house.I had been looking forward to this day man! ahha. However, not all of us were there;my dearest R was away to Genting, AhBao and ZY both were working on that day but still we had so much FUN~ We shall organize a day for steamboat again!! ^_^ We had taken a lot of photos too!!

PS.有段时间没有这么笑过了～

Last day of 2009

It has been awhile since the last time I blog.
On the last day of year 2009 , I headed to Marina and met WX, Mick they all for countdown after my work which ended at 10pm. I rushed to City Hall and tried to reach there as soon as possible but the train was so packed like sardines. Fortunately I managed to reach there on time.At 12am sharp, the fireworks set off.It was fantastic! After the fireworks ended, the rest planned to play pool and I decided to go home as I worked on morning shift the day after but eventually all of us headed home.There was no more buses after midnight and so we walked home from tpy interchange.
I was super exhausted on that day,nonetheless I had fun too.^_^We had taken a lot of photos too! I will upload as soon as possible.

PS. Many thoughts had gone through my mind as the fireworks were being set off.The year had given me suffering and happiness but I had learnt a lot from it though.Im so grateful to those who had helped me through my toughest time. THANK YOU SO MUCH.^^
Hope 2010 will be better than 2009.