Excited

I cant wait to meet SQ they all on the last day of 2009 & my clique for steamboat on the first day of 2010!! WOOTS.

休假期

要出国 拿3-4天的休假期
但因要学另个语言 经理已牵就我了
而且也只做到三月
这么得寸进尺
我做不到。

起初是大家要我延长合约
现在为了出国反而怪我为何要继续工作…
什么跟什么~

Endure

Oh well.My extension of contract is approved by HR-working 5 days per week,an hour more per day and 2 days off instead of one. I've somewhat regretted but still I will endure till the end. ^_^

想放弃时 我会回想你们给我的鼓励
我会适应环境
我会坚持 即使有多累还是不开心
都会尽力把它做好-有始有终。

sob

B!! NOW I KNOW HOW U FEEL!!
I feel like crying today.Like what u had said, working is indeed stressful and we have to abide people who are unreasonable and people who tend to throw tantrums at anyone.uh~ Perhaps this is how e working life is like.

I miss school.

I miss my clique.

STUDY IS THE BEST AFTER ALL.

工作

原来这就是工作的世界。
有好人
有难相处的
有背叛者
有把情绪宣泄在他人身上的
我想 惟有忍耐才能持续-这是个很重要的课题。

`通过一个管道来发泄自己的情绪

我绝对不会。

是逃避还是害怕

能感觉你想亲近
然而不知为何
我会退后。

Avatar

Met JD,Jus,Bran&A yesterday after my work and caught 'Avatar' at Lido.We watched the 3D version and it was great! ^_^ Now then I know why there are so many people looking for biology books. Oh and Christmas is just 3 days away but I cant go countdown as I have got work till 10pm on that day.Also Im on morning shift the following day. Aww.. that's sad,isnt it? No x'mas~
These few days are going to be hectic at my workplace;it's going to be packed like sardines especially on the last day of the promotion. oh man, I cant imagine it. >~<

不舒服

之前不继续的原因 是因为工作后没有时间做自己的事-整个人就真的很累
打算合约完后就学新的东西 但是…不行了
所以当我决定继续的那天 就不会离职

而今天…
你问我工作如何
你问我是不是不想做
你问我为什么这么累
你的话 让我思考更让我不舒服
是因为你说如果不想继续就在家做小姐
是因为你说常换工作会变成一种习惯（问题是我的合约本来就是年尾结束）
是因为你说的话

PS 为什么他人总是比你们更了解？

No offence.

"You are so different as compared with your sister."
Ahha. People(especially my sister's friends) have been telling this to me. I'd take that as a compliment.yeah! haha! (thick skin) Anyway, I have been working hard on this; be it the character or attitude and apparently I have made it.Woohoo.Partly because Im not those who would spend e entire day just to watch shows and do nothing. I would turn blank and empty-I feel scared. Although I feel the same sometimes, I would crave chocolates.(I know by craving choco will not help me in anything besides gaining my weight.) And so, Im still learning how to control my emotions.

PS.Ah.My manager is too kind that I do not want to reject her with regard to extension of my contract.

Finally

JD & J came to visit me at my workplace today! rather surprised though. Then we had lunch together!! ^_^ It was like finally we have met up for a meal.ahha. We had a short chat and knew that Bran has just came back from Taiwan and JB has gone to Taiwan! Whoa. None of them told me that they are going Taiwan so that I can get them to buy something from there. Hee. Anyway, we shall meet up for steamboat!! >_<

心态

这种环境里
唯有调整心态
才能走出这个框框
什么才是正确的心态呢？

谢谢你的相信 让我更懂得调整心态

谢谢你的信任 让我更了解自己
谢谢你的在那里 让我的所有的问号有了答案

累了

Im SOO exhausted and mood less today!! Work is soo tiring.I dont feel like smiling nor crying.
Nonetheless, I feel happy after my work as JD and J happened to be at town around late evening!! Met up with them for a while and had a short but nice chat.It has been a long time since we last met up. (I miss those days when we had steamboat at JB's place. ) We shall meet up soon,guys! for a dinner or sth. =D Alright, shall go to bed early today. Im working on afternoon shift tmr. =S

不會懂。

loathe.

With regard to my extension of contract, I have decided to extend it.However, now mama has changed her mind.She asked me not to extend alr as she has planned to go aboard on new year(well, she always gives empty promises) and so Im in the dilemma again. Aww.. I cant make up my mind mann. I hate myself for not being able to make decision.

本来已决定 但你让我动摇
然而选择继续后 你却要我不做

言听计从
不是不听 只是不会要去不想去的地方 反而被你说成不喜欢跟你们出门，很奇怪
然而也请不要拿我与她比较 因为真的不同

不喜欢被逼的感觉 I need a break.
这样 开心的起来吗 ？

寂寞在路上

Predestined

Ohmy. I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that I scored 26 or 30 points for O levels. Oh mann. Hope this dream will not come true.

what if it's real? I dont know.I dare not imagine any scenes.Im afraid that it comes true.Im afraid that I might not get the result as I expected. >~<

不敢向前一步

在乎的不是工作的形体
而是如果继续
是否能找到我一直在寻找的答案⋯

之前就是因为听话
让我失去了学习的机会也错过了在校外的乐趣⋯

lil surprise.

Omg. I was so surprised when my ah gu& BY visited me at my work place. Ahha. On the same day, B visited me too! ^_^ They were looking for me; walking back and forth at my work place as it is really huge.I was delighted and lil touchy.hee.

Alright, there's a promotion going on at my work place.It begins today till 27 dec.It's going to be a hectic month.Hope everything would go on smoothly.

`Had another chocolates just now.Love chocolates.

PS. B, get a job soon!!

Extend it or not?

I just realised that I had finished my last piece of chocolates! :( Aww.. Shall buy more the next time when I get my pay.hee.
Alright, mama has been asking me to extend my contract.She has got her reasons though but honestly,I really dont want to continue working. Partly because there are too much things to memorise; be it the author's name, the name of the books and also the location of books in every departments.It's rather stressful and Im really exhausted-I just cant want to end my contract! Although I explained to her why I dont wanna work(just as Im really tired,I thought of having fun next year.I have already missed so much things.I dont wanna spend the rest of my holiday just to work. I want to learn other things which I dont know ; I need to find my interest), she insisted.There were of cos again little arguments and miscommunication inbetween; perhaps the probs lies on me again. I remained silent.
Actually, I know that there is no harm in extending my contract.I dont have to stay at home so often either.But if u ask me if im happy working there, frankly im not though my colleagues are really nice people.There is no motivation and I dont know what I am working for. Well,I need more time to think about it. Any suggestion?

感觉依然如此

不吃的　　　　一定要吃
不想继续做的　一定要做
不解。
想法　一直都不被认同
无法自主？
问题问题问题问题问题问题问题问题？？？？？
固执　叛逆　自私　任性　自我为中心
害怕 这种感觉…
怎么办？

念头

累 对你来说 是不想出门的理由
肌肉痛 对你来说 是个借口
不懂 真的不懂。
或许 工作也不错 至少不会遇到争吵…

昨天 心情很复杂
电影院里 都是大家的笑声
在一旁 没有微笑 沉默着 不舒服的感觉让眼泪不听使唤的流下来…
调整心态 的决是个很大的学问
巧克力 巧克力 巧克力 巧克力 巧克力~

还不是个有自信的女生
再坚强 遇到挫折、难受时 还是需要聊
然而又不想麻烦他人
或许 应该习惯孤僻
才能告诉你
我很好
我很开心
请不要担心

Rest.

Woohoo. 30 more days of working. I cant wait to end my current work and get my salary so that I can buy the things I want!! yay! ^_^ Btw I caught Mulan the movie yesterday with my colleagues. The movie was so violent and boring.I dont really like it. :S oh yes, my manager asked me if I'd like to extend my contract yesterday. I said no.ahha. Nonetheless, mama wants me to continue working even though i told her that im really tired.whatever.

Today is my off day! I have spent the entire day at home. The feeling is so good.ahha. It has been a while since the last I give myself a good break and do nothing like today.Although I dont like to spend a day just to watch show as I hate it when my mind turns blank, Im really tired and my body is aching. I need to rest. I have just finished reading my novel and watched a few episodes of the latest hk series 'Beyond The Realm Of Conscience'. It's a pretty nice show.It's about people in the palace who r calculative and they would use nasty methods to get what they want.
Alright, Im working in the afternoon tmr. Shall get to bed early. >_<

JD: 'Perseverance is the key to succeed'

DARK CHOCOLATES

WOOTS.
I BOUGHT CHOCOLATES TODAY!! \{^[]^}/
yummy yummy~

相信与否 只是一念之间

还是不相信
真的 无言以对
转身离去 应该 是最好也是唯一的选择

mood less

不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心

不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂不懂

为什么总是不能选着想吃了?

为什么面包与饭之间 一定得吃饭?

为什么就是不能等一下下?

为什么大吵时都会在？

如果是想通过一个管道来渲泄自己的情绪

那为什么是我？

不能改变环境，就改变心境

怎么又被我遇到　我不想看到和听到的情境
第三次了…

依然 有点代沟…

Exhausted- Forth day of work.

Ohmy. Im exhausted. Work is killing me. Besides shelving of books and putting the book covers, I have to recognise the categories of books for every departments and where the books are located. Well,The bookstore is really huge & there are soo many books around!! How m I going to memorise all of them? Im wondering.
Yesterday, there was a customer who asked me where were the books about psychology located.As Im not sure where it is,I approached one of my manager and she gave me a look.=.= Alright, I knew this is my forth day of work and I ought to know where it is by now but still I tend to forget somehow. Probably I had taken medicine before the day which made me felt a bit drowsy. Anyway, I will definitely try my best to memorise every corner of the bookshelves and prove to my manager that I can do it.

工作的第四天.
又生病了…整个人真的很累…
这份工作 没有让我前进的动力
这么累 这么忙 是为了什么?
纯是为了打发时间还有赚钱？还是逃避?

在坚持些什么 有時连自己也不是太懂。

只能说 读书还是最好的
又想念 学校的日子

OS 不能放弃啊，诗慧! 再辛苦、再累 都要熬过去!!
只剩一个月三天。

`我到底寻找的是什么？

First Day of Work

Woo.. Just come back from work. It's so tiring. I had to put e cover over books in the morning then storing of books after lunch time in the afternoon.Also there are many things to memorize like where are the departments and the books are located. Well, I have to read through my notes again as Im still not familiar with the places yet.

Alright,that's all for today. Im in the morning shift tmr. Goodbye. ^_^

The Orientation

Woots. Today is e orientation of my work. Well, I was given e big picture of what we will be doing and how to provide good customer services.The rules and regulations are so much like my school rules. Now then I know the purposes of my school rules and also the importance of CCAs. I will definitely learn a lot from this job though my contract ends in 31 December.

Oh yes,I have met new friends today too! No, they are my colleagues I should say.They are so much different from my classmates, be it in their attitude or the ways they talk.hmm. All these are really so new & a challenge to me. IM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO MY JOB ON MONDAY! ^_^

在人来人往的早上
看着人们匆匆忙忙
地铁和巴士里都像沙丁鱼一样挤满了人 然后抵达目的地
大家都好像有前进的动力 充实的人生 往自己的理想或梦想迈进
而我呢？

PS 原来无论是做什么事 最重要是调整心态

Prom Night. 16/11/09

My First Job

IM HIRED!! \{^[]^}/

Im going to work at Ngee Ann City on Monday.

Im so excited.Hope everything goes well.

前者与后者

一本书 让我发现
原来之前所谓的问题 其实是烦恼的对象
而原因是 念头。
英雄与懦夫的差别不是能力的表现
在于前者勇敢与面对 后者只会逃避问题
我选择前者！

First Interview.

I went to an interview this morning- Temporary Retail Assistant.

This is my first interview and I was very nervous.Thank god that everything goes well ;hope that they would hire me.^_^

Just back from prom.It was not as fun as last year but still I have taken many photos! :D Shall upload the next time. Good night!

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了

太感人了..好听捏～ T~T

突然有种舍不得还有想念大家的感觉..



寻找自己＃1－画画

Being an impatient person, you might be wondering if I can draw? Initially,I doubt myself too as I have totally no interest in drawings and I always admire those who can draw really well. Anyway, I have went to search for cartoons and I tried to draw this few days.

TADAA~ \{^[]^}/第一次画画.

P.S.老师老师 我画画耶～^_^哈。不知为何 想和你分享⋯但 你会看到吗？

So how is it? Not bad right? except for the forth one.I've got e talent in drawing,dont I? ahha. ='p Therefore, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. hahaha.

又是一个新课题。

我培养了 耐心。

未来与努力是画上等号-林芯仪

没错。我也相信。

但我在追求的是什么？

Today.

No smile.

__________________________

Woots. I wear contact lenses!! =D NO MORE BLURRY VISION!! XP

I have spent half an hour to learn how to put in & remove the lenses.Then I realised I have got e patience. ahha. BUT I CANT KEEP LONG NAILS FOR THE TIME BEING.

Ohyes! Im going to an interview on Monday!Pray hard that they would hire me.

山不转路转 路不转人转 人不转心转

心转。

我在想

是不是太自我为中心了？品格、修养是不是出了问题？

不听话。

是我有自己的意见 还是 真的叛逆？

只是不想去的地方就真的不想去⋯是那里不对了吗？

是不是该为别人著想？是不是该站在他人的角度想？

百思不解。

原来

你对我 没有信心

原来

你对我 不信任

我是学会了调整心态 还是 在逃避？

IT'S OVER

'O' LEVELS IS OVER !!WOOHOO!!! \{^[]^}/

It has finally ended.I had done my best for every papers so hope that I would get the results I wish for. X)

Looking back, there were so many things that had happened during these critical periods which apparently affected my mood & my studies. I had once thought of giving up as the feeling was just not right. I felt rather empty & insecure.I couldnt concentrate in my studies either but thank goodness that I had approached you.(:

JW & K

thank you for ur encouragement!=D

M L

A very big thank you to you! Your words & concerns are really appreciated.^_^ Without you, I might not be able to overcome these obstacles.Thank you for being there during my toughest time and the help in my study timetable. I will do u proud & not let u down..(:

压力的时候 难过的时候 甚至现在没有方向的时候 谢谢你！

Alright,what m i going to do over this long holiday?? I need to plan.

PS 你的话真的让我有渐进的动力捏～真神奇..哈

还好没有放弃 还好有你

又來了..

为什么每次发生的时候 我都在？！

第二次了～

Indulgence

It's time to give myself a break! I had been preparing for e exams so here was a lil indulgence- caffe latte. I went to 'spinello' a few days back. `dunno how to spell.. Anw it was soo nice yet fattening-let's put tat aside for the time being.. hehe. >_<

I had bought a strawberry cheese tart for my sister too. Actually I was the one who wanted to eat as it was really tempting BUT im afraid of gaining weight so yeah. sound so mean uh~shh.. ahha! I had a small bite after all but it was not as good as the one from japan- The Glace. Aww..feel like eating now..I shall go there again but heard from my sister that it has moved to 'tanjong bajar' or sth. no longer in the shop near Chinatown; it's further than Chinatown. @_@

ahha. this little candy boy~ just happened to see this photo in my phone. It was taken on the last day of school. HE is a sec one boy who will always stay back in school till the school library closed. As I was also staying in school to do my revision till late evening, I know him somehow. He is a really cute & funny boy who loves to eat chocolates and candies.He will always get it from me as I will always have them while I'm studying.^_^

Although we have known each other for a mth or so, we get along really well.It's rather weird & amazing..don't u think so?

Alright, it's 1.32am now. shall go to bed now.Good night!

這段期間 不健康的心態

太多事挤在一起了。

不愉快的事也很多很多 而情绪也跟著陪影响了。

心想怎么这么多问题啊？ 我也只是个17岁的女生⋯

是该忘记 还是 从中学习？

关系依然淡薄 之间有距离 但问题是什么？

代沟 。

可不可以好好听我说 好好跟我讲 而不是大声 怎样得态度 还有争吵

发现'children imitate parents'是真的。我不想要一样~

无论是叛逆还是什么

我 坚持自己的决定 坚持所觉得是对的事

试著不要太在乎他人说的话 不要管他们 一直抱怨也不能解决问题

会不舒服 但诉苦的对象 还能谁你吗？ 我好想躱起来..

没错 工作也是一个问题。

惊讶的是 为了一张名片 之前的关系更糟了

知道你是担心 担心是不是诈骗集团 担心被骗

：为什么他会给你？！ 为什么这么好？！你给我撕掉!

：为什么要撕掉？

：做么？你喜欢他啊？！

整个人 真的傻眼 @_@

解释了却不信 没有办法再说下去 0＿0

我在乎的 不是能不能在那家公司工作 而是你的最后一句话 ⋯真是什么跟什么~ T~T

一直以来

我听到的只是 “不准 、不要、不喜欢⋯⋯” 就这样。

然後一直再逃避问题 以巧克力和nuts掩饰所有一切

但都不重要了 现在最重要是找回自己。

新课题

我学会了调整心态 虽然有点难

我学会了无论如何 还是要以学业为先 其他的事等考完再说

我学会了无论什么事 都不要让任何事影响自己的情绪也不要放弃

我学会了信任 是很重要

只能說⋯

谢谢关心我的 給我加油的人! ^_^

三岁定八十

但我已经不是那个
喜欢吃白糖糕的小女生了..

彷彿脚一跨过去就是另一个世界

会考快结束了。

现在　就有那种突然要离开学校不知以后会是如何的感觉了..很没有安全感..

毕业之后的生活 会是怎样的呢？

之前这么的努力是为了什么？我要的又是什么？喜欢的、兴趣是什么？

我得找回自己、人生的目标；弥补不知为何奋斗的遗憾..

害怕做不够好 所以对自己的要求高

就会很努力很努力往自己的targets前进 但 真的好累好累

达不到怎么办？ 我也不知道。

只能说天不时地不理人不和。 一分耕耘也不一定有一分收获 相信很多事已是注定的

老师跟我说过 ‘不要对自己的要求太高 这样会很辛苦’

所以呢 是有降低在学业成绩方面的要求但..

觉得尽力而为 也只是尽力而已 所以我好像会超越自己的期限..

“但我们即将因为曾经没自信而懂得被肯定的珍贵

因为被质疑过而懂得谨慎

因为被批评过而懂得宽容

因为被鼓励过而懂得鼓励别人 鼓励自己” －徐佳莹LaLa

‘寂寞並不可怕 可怕的是不知道自己是否寂寞’

只能說 再多人陪只會更寂寞

一個人也有一人的精彩

How I wish I have someone to confide in ; someone who is appropriate.
Im trying to put everything aside but sadly I cant.=( it's tough.

对外界的不安全感。
慌、怕、紧张。
好难控制的情绪阿～

讨厌。
容易被影响 不懂得调整情绪
泪也渐渐的很难控制
变得不勇敢、很脆弱..

determinate,work hard and hang on till the end.
O levels is just a mth away.
My prelims was badly done.): Some subjs were not to my expectation either. I cant go anywhere with the prelim results.gonna work extremely hard.

O-M-G.

Last night,B sent me the link of a video showing how dogs are being KILLED& COOKED.Initially I dun dare to watch it as B had told to me how disgusting the video was. Eventually, I watched it with the sound off.My goodness.The people are so ruthless and heartless.They are using a wooden stick to hit the dogs till they died, put them in a big pot with boiling water and hook them up.My god.They even mince it!!Gosh. Tears welled up my eyes upon watching the video.I cant believe it.They are so cruel !!
Although Im afraid of dogs especially BIG DOGS, they are cute after all. I have begun to love dogs after watching that short video. Stop killing dogs PLEASE~

PRELIMS OVER!

I had my last paper today. Yay! {^[]^}/

Ohyes! know what?! I realised that some of my answers, no most of my answers for all the papers that I had changed are the correct ones!! @#$^*&* uh~I SHOULDNT HAVE CHANGED THE ANSWERS!!! I dont think im gonna do well for it.

Then headed to town & caught The ugly truth'.

Well,supposedly, my clique had planned to catch a movie today but the girls had sth cropped up at the last minutes and they didnt tell me.Great.

Anyway,the movie was nice & funny.No doubt,the boys had enjoyed the movie very much.so gross~ Haha. After that we headed Taka and I bought a small packet of dried cranberries.It tastes great! love it! must give it a try! =D Then we went to Novena for dinner.

`Woo..I love going to school- sounds crazy?

But I have got an indescribable feeling when im in school

and sadly,I just left with two weeks to my study leave.

Cant wait for Tuesday to come.

不懂。
爲什麽無論什麽事
都無法選擇
所覺得的 所想的。

自己的想法、自己的意見

說叛逆？固執？

不知道。
但面子有這麽重要嗎？

還是我的問題？

it's 2.32am now.
I cant sleep.I think im suffering from insomnia again. >~<
As there are too much to study,I have been studying lately till midnight.And now, I have got a pair of panda eyes. However, thank goodness that my eyes bags are not as worst as B's.Oops.=x haha.Anw,my dark circles are evolving..Any recommendation of good eye creams? tell me pls.I need it badly.

m i pushing myself too hard?

WELCOME TO THE 'PANDA' WORLD!!

`Look at our dark circles and puffy eyebags >~<

`They kept teasing me;saying that I have got a round face.><*irritated.

Supposedly, we had planned to study together but we ended up taking photos.HAHA!

What will u do when u feel like crying but u couldnt cry out loud?? listen to music? craving chocolates? Somehow I have got this strange feeling this morning while im studying alone at home.Its weird. ><
Also,I felt exhausted over the past few days;extremely tired.I dont know why either. m i getting lazy?

My prelims will continue when school reopens and yet I have not finished studying. >~<
`ohmann.I have just finished my last bite of e dark chocolate bar.no more chocolates in my fridge alr. ):

不是不關心 而是不解與否定 覺得有點距離、忽略
堅持 自己所決定的
知道很多事 是見仁見智
而最後 結論不是自己的選擇時 心情自然就會被影響
所以咯..

但 這一切已經不重要了.

Gosh. I had spent a day to study for SS and yet the chapters that I had studied did not come out for the prelim last Wednesday.): Thank goodness that I had revised my work on June holidays & I could still rmb some parts of the particular chapter tat had came out..Hopefully I could get at least a pass?
Today's papers are worst. Im not prepared for geog & math paper 2 today.I had spent 2 days to study for geog but still I didnt manage to study all the chapters. I cant do most of the questions and I didnt even study for my math paper..Aww.. =(
Shall WORK HARDER for the upcoming papers.

me: 停下腳步前進的理由是什麽？
ahben:* 理由就是人应该放慢脚步珍惜，欣赏现在所拥有的一切

31 August 2009

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!

Woots.I was thrilled on that day!! \{^[]^}/ My chinese classmates were back to visit the trs.It has also been a long time since we met..(:

Woo..I miss chinese lessons;miss those days with them.Therefore..tadaa~ photos taking time!!XD I had brought my sis's camera without her knowing..=x Anyway, I had taken lots of photos with them on the day.^^ `yay! i love taking photos!!

Woah.JW had made a brownie for Miss L.so sweet of him~ i didnt manage to take a photo of the brownie but it looked nice though im not a fan of brownies.We were chatting on msn before the day and he told me that he knows how to bake cheesecakes too!! mmm yummy~ I have alr asked him to teach me someday~yeah. :D After that, we headed to Marina Square,the hongkong cafe for our lunch and we celebrated WX's birthday.It was my first time going out with them and it was fun though they kept teasing me.="= Then met the girls at B-box in the late evening..

`Smile~ :D

`Secret recipes chocolate cake.woo..going for more laps of jogging the next time?

`Happy 17th Birthday,WX.

`Is he crying? he must be very touched.Haha.

`Creams over his hand..Eww..I hate creams. :x

`i like this photo.^^

`Ai qing de li liang uh~ haha. we headed to UFO catchers for this cute little winnie the pooh after our lunch.SQ almost caught it..

人生的過程就像一個夢想 連接著另外一個夢想
敗犬女王

迷失的小鹿

在森林裏徘徊了三天

從未試過的情景 從未有的感覺

無助與失落

還沒找到生存的意義 獨自行走的它 想了很多很多

發現 它其實自己並不了解自己

發現 它已錯過很多美好的事物

不斷的問自己 停下腳步前進的理由是什麽？

它在逃避 它沒有勇氣面對

放棄了嗎？

每個人都知道 讓自己前進的動力 那它呢？

感覺依然如此

害怕 獨自 害怕 空

受不了的它

最終 它 恍然大悟 也找到回家的路了

決定了 堅持

那天讀完后 淚在眼眶裏打轉

我懂了 感覺也回來了 真的謝謝

還好找了你

但還是會怕 一個人的感覺

已嘗試 但關係仍然淡薄 格格不入

像作文常寫的情景

物質上的需求填滿心靈上的空虛？

不重要了。

好像微笑 只會出現在學校

為了自己而活 不要為了別人而活

是為自己而讀 不是為了別人

全數奔馳的人生才是有價值的

努力、追求的 是什麼？

想要的又是什麼？

還沒找到回家的路

那隻迷失的小鹿 在森林里過夜了

它 其實很害怕

害怕 野獸的出現

當它想放棄時

想起 這句話

勇氣不是天生的 而是一點一滴累積成的

想起了周圍 關心它的 支持它的

它 堅持著 繼續尋找活在這世界上的意義

對於重重的言語

所 否定的 認定的 不了解的 懷疑的心態

它選擇沈默的離去

已試過 體諒 了解 解釋

想起有人跟它說過

有時要想所說的話 會不會傷到對方 影響是很大的

安靜 或許是最好的辦法

該來的還是會來

地球還是會轉

時間不會為任何事物停止

不知所錯的小鹿

已浪費了很多時間

已錯過了 很多很多美好的事物

小時后 擁有的歡樂 在哪裡？

沒有方向感的它

沒有清楚的視線

相信很快會想起回家的路 知道生存的意義

有一隻小鹿 想要自己出去看世界

在森林裏迷路的

它 失去了方向 未來是模糊的

毫無目的的往前走

沒有理想 沒有夢想

往後的日子 會是怎樣的呢？

前面的路是要怎麽走？

一瞬間 就離開了 對它來說

有安全感 有意義的地方

下一段 旅程 會是怎樣的呢？

它 不知道

空虛

這突如其來的感覺

讓它 不知所措

不想麻煩他人的它

選擇自己面對

已很努力的告訴自己 可以的

最後 還是不行

不會被問候的它

感受也被忽略了

很慶幸

已這麽忙 這麽累的你 還抽空 願意聼它説話

讓它知道了 自己的問題出在哪裏

想說的是 除了謝謝 還是謝謝

無論是壓力的時候 難過的時候 甚至現在失去了方向

你都會在

你的問候 你的關心

讓它覺得自己不是獨自 雖然還有朋友

不擅于用語言表達的它

不會輿他人聊心事的它

其實有很多疑問 很多問題

想說但說不出

這一切已不重要了

不要擔心

魯莽、固執、想獨立的它 迷路了

讓周圍關心它的人 擔心

把關心當成煩惱

把事物當成理所當然

它 發現自己其實很孤單 很寂寞

很害怕 這 從未有的感覺

停下了腳步 不想做任何事

空虛 的可怕

沒有支柱

沒有了 方向

失落

‘不知道’ 掩蓋了所有它所面對的問題

它選擇了 逃避

逃避眼前的事物

逃避所有的一切

正在找尋 生存的意義

自己要的到底是什麽？

路 最終還是得自己走

已很久 很久

沒有學新的東西

自己喜歡的是什麽

喜歡做的事；興趣、嗜好

漸漸的 消失了

開心是什麽？

微笑的表情

只會出現在學校

對自己的要求太高

是很累的

太在乎外表的它

也迷失了自己

在路上的它

不知道要往哪走

空 代表了它的心情 第一次

眼淚在眼眶裏不停的打轉

悶悶的心理 很難受

若度過了這次眼前的挑戰

下一個步 是什麽

要做些什麽

長遠的路 它 沒有想過

'世界是有顔色的'

但 現在只有黑與白

一天的時間

還找不到出路

腦裏還是空白的

時間一分一秒的過去

太陽公公都下山了

望著天空

一片黑暗 沒有星星

它 還在原地踏步

浪費了 寶貴的時間